I poured my heart out to him. A complete state of vulnerability, quivering lips, wet nose, tears dripping off my chin. I told him that I’ve needed him, that I had just endured one of the worst of losses, and he wasn’t there. When I’m anxious I call but theres no answer. When I’ve accomplished an assignment I text, but theres no reply. Everyday I’ve been trying to open the doors that were so suddenly slammed in my face. I try to embrace him, and he politely holds out one arm. He used to squeeze me tightly, kissing my forehead. I beg for an hour of his time, and I can see the reluctance. What kills me is that I still have all of the love. Bodies molding into each other, feeling him linger in my kiss even when its time for both of us to go.
I’m not happy. I try to focus on the other positive aspects in my life. But I’m not happy. Because I’m in love with someone who no longer loves me back.
And it hurts.
It hurts so much.