Losing

You put yourself in such a vulnerable position when you love someone. Your will power, your beliefs, your opinions, they’re all susceptible to compromise. But you gladly share, as this person has become the continuous beat of your heart.

Love should not be selfish. Love is not easy and can hurt sometimes. However, when that person hurts you over and over and doesn’t seem to care, you lose. You lose your happiness, your confidence, your smile, your laugh.

You give them everything you have, both small and big, and they just let you down with no consideration of what it does to you. They put everything else before you and even when you’re right in front of them, they act like you’re invisible.

Feeling so insignificant and confused to how they could treat you this way when they said those three words. The three words that keep you dealing with the pain and mistreatment, with hopes they’ll stop. You forgive them just to be hurt again. To hear those three words that fill up your being. The three words you say back with more passion than the sun.

You plan dates, paint your nails, get all your work done so you can give them your full attention and they can’t even show up or pull through. You tell them how you feel and they could careless and disregard you.

You just want to be with that person and be happy. To have the simple things be simple. To go on dates and get those flirty texts. To not have to beg to be noticed from the person who consumes your life. To know that you can count on them to be there, and not wonder what you’ve done to feel so worthless.

And right now, I’m losing.

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